Showing posts with label Top Ten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Top Ten. Show all posts

Friday, December 26, 2008

10 Naughty Things to Do for Christmas



1. Stand in front of a supermarket wearing a Santa suit, ringing a bell and wishing everyone a Happy Solstice.


2. Wrap yourself in swaddling clothes and lay in the manger of the neighbor's nativity scene.


3. Put on a Santa suit and open a mall kiosk that sells reindeer jerky and Easter Bunny filets.


4. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children that they've been naughty and won't be getting any presents this year.


5. Buy a package of Keebler's E.L. Fudge Sandwich Cookies and hand them out to children saying this is what happens to the bad elves.


6. Decorate your yard to look like a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer crashed and burned. Walk back and forth along the street muttering, "Oh the humanity."



7. Sell jars of water, advertising them as Frosty the Snowman urns.


8. Post a sign in front yard that says "Carolers Welcome." When they get almost to the front door secretly turn on the sprinklers.



9. Randomly replace one bulb in your neighbor's lights so they no longer work. Repeat this every day until Christmas.



10. Decorate your yard for the holidays using your neighbor's decorations.
(Thanks to Rawhide. Sorry it's late. Happy New Year.)

Monday, July 23, 2007

People and Things I Miss

Ecclesiastes 7:10 "Do not say, 'Why were the old days better than these?' For it is not wise to ask such questions."


Okay...what is this? Type a Scripture and then proceed to violate it? How rude!

As I may have mentioned before, I'm sort of an old guy. Here are ten examples of people and things I miss from days gone by:




  1. My parents. My brother. Other family members who have passed on.



  2. Captain Kangaroo. Mr. Green Jeans. Bunny Rabbit. Mr. Moose. The Magic Drawing Board. Dancing Bear. Ping pong balls falling from the ceiling. Spongebob can't hold a jellyfish to this show.



  3. Odessa, TX Permian High School Panthers football team in their glory days. (My apologies to OHS alumni.) See Friday Night Lights.







  4. Horned toads.West Texas once had them everywhere. We could catch and release a dozen in an hour. They were easily caught and had no natural defense except to spit. My dog never killed them deliberately; she just viewed them as toys, flinging them around until they quit moving. She probably contributed to their near extinction. Or maybe they were driven off by loud music. Which reminds me of a question we've all asked ourselves many times.


  5. The fragrance of roses, before genetic engineering.


  6. Dr. Gene Scott (1929-2005) . Rated PG.


  7. Life before some people had cell phones.


  8. A coherent train of thought. (My own.)


  9. The butterfly formation at Caverns of Sonora, Texas. The only one like it in the world, damaged by unknown persons.



Monday, July 16, 2007

Blog Your Many Blessings

Hello again!
I want you to know that I am richly blest! Here are ten blessings I am thankful for (not always in order):
  1. A wonderful Savior. Because I need saving. He always reaches out to love the unloveable (that would be me). He is constantly watching over me, even more so than the frog.
2. My loving and gracious wife, Liz. I could not have made the last 19 years without you. I love you so much.
3. Robert, my one and only son. What a treasure you are. You are the apple of my eye.

4. Our health. Liz went through surgery this year, and Robert has been hospitalized in the past. I thank God they're both doing well now. As for me, I feel great. 5. Our family and friends who support us and pray for us. You know who you are. You are appreciated and loved.

6. Our church family. Every Sunday I get to teach a class of around 6 elementary-age children about God. I get to lead worship in church on a regular basis. What a blessing!

7. Great jobs. My wife will be teaching second grade this coming year. And I get to travel around and audit stores, and I've only been threatened once in 19 years with death and dismemberment, but that's another story.

8. Great food. What a gift from God! He chose to make eating enjoyable! I probably enjoy it a little too much!


9. Living in America. Still the greatest nation on God's green earth.

10. Living in Frogtown. One of the earth's most beautiful places.




Hey!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...