Thursday, October 18, 2007

My Brother's Humor

I think my brother invented the totally gross joke in the 60's, except he called them morbid jokes because "gross" was not yet a word back then.





NORMAN'S MORBID JOKE #1:

"Johnny, for the last time, if you don't stop playing with Shirley, I'm going to close the coffin."

NORMAN'S MORBID JOKE #2:

Kid: "Ma'am, may Johnny come out and play?"
Johnny's Mother: "Now you know very well that Johnny has no arms or legs."
Kid: "Well, that's all right, ma'am. We just wanted to use him for first base." NORMAN'S HALLOWEEN PRANK:


My brother actually built "Shirley" one year for Halloween. I think it was 1970 or 1971. He and his family were living in a house that had a big picture window, and he got a cardboard windshield box, which was roughly coffin-sized, and put it in the window. Then he took a wig holder and painted it up and put a wig on it. He covered the rest of the box with a sheet and fixed a little spotlight over its prone form. It looked very realistic. "That is Shirley," he said to the astonished trick-or-treaters.

6 comments:

Monalea said...

Ok, you are really scaring me......NOT!

Monalea

Monalea said...

shhhhhhh, I voted 4 times; I never could follow directions.

Monalea

preacherman said...

That is great.
I Voted 10 times!
Me either Monalea. :-)
What talent.
How awesome!!!
It's so cool.
My humor. :)

David Kirk said...

Monalea & preacherman:
Vote early and vote often. Thanks for reading.

Nicky said...

I think one of my favorite comments from him, was when we were at the Grand Canyon and they were warning us about people falling. He said "Well, falling doesn't really bother me..." and at the looks on the faces he said,"it's not the fall that kills you; it's that sudden stop a the bottom."

David Kirk said...

Nicky:
Good one! He had a similar story about a guy who fell off the top of a tall building and shouted "So far, so good!" to a second-story onlooker.

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