Friday, December 26, 2008

10 Naughty Things to Do for Christmas

1. Stand in front of a supermarket wearing a Santa suit, ringing a bell and wishing everyone a Happy Solstice.

2. Wrap yourself in swaddling clothes and lay in the manger of the neighbor's nativity scene.

3. Put on a Santa suit and open a mall kiosk that sells reindeer jerky and Easter Bunny filets.

4. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children that they've been naughty and won't be getting any presents this year.

5. Buy a package of Keebler's E.L. Fudge Sandwich Cookies and hand them out to children saying this is what happens to the bad elves.

6. Decorate your yard to look like a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer crashed and burned. Walk back and forth along the street muttering, "Oh the humanity."

7. Sell jars of water, advertising them as Frosty the Snowman urns.

8. Post a sign in front yard that says "Carolers Welcome." When they get almost to the front door secretly turn on the sprinklers.

9. Randomly replace one bulb in your neighbor's lights so they no longer work. Repeat this every day until Christmas.

10. Decorate your yard for the holidays using your neighbor's decorations.
(Thanks to Rawhide. Sorry it's late. Happy New Year.)

Sunday, December 14, 2008


God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of blogposts. Right now I am so far behind I will never die.

Well, you know, it's interesting being 50 ... You start to reflect on your life. And you look back over the years at everything you've ever done. And, with age, middle age, comes wisdom. But I have to say that I'm not sure that 50 for me is the same as 50 in people years. - Kermit The Frog

Yep, that space monkey turned 50 yesterday!  What a deal!

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