Wednesday, August 1, 2007


This is the strangest thing I've ever seen on a store shelf. It may be one of the strangest things in existence. Ten years ago, the Kermit Alco store received a case in and put them on the shelf. It's called the "Law Stay Away" candle. They're even listed on eBay. One website says that if you really want to keep the law away, you should burn the candle while heating Law Stay Away oil and reading Psalm 91 out loud. There are also Law Stay Away ringtones available.

Next, we have this product, the "Make Opposing Lawyer Look Stupid" candle. I had to look to find a public-domain picture of one. Most are under copyright. If you get sued by the candle company, they can probably make your lawyer look...well, stupid.

Here's a gift for a mom or a teacher. It's a "Shut Up" candle. It's like a mute button, I guess.

On the Christian side of things, sometimes store managers will burn a prayer candle during inventory to bless the auditor's mind. I appreciate that, because at 48, my mind needs all the prayers and blessings it can get.

There was a manager about ten years ago named Nancy who took this idea to an extreme, however. Not only would she burn a candle specially blessed by her priest, but she once reached across the counter and put holy water on my forehead without any announcement or permission. She also demanded that her employees and even the area supervisor wear a medal with a saint's picture on it during inventory. I refused to wear it. She thought I was being obstinate.



That may be the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Really weird!

Monalea said...


I absolutely love it. I'm burning a candle for you right now and I plan on throwing holy water on you when I see you next. By the way, where do you get holy water?



David Kirk said...

This is possibly weirder:

If you are Catholic, you can obtain holy water from your priest. If you are Protestant, holy water may be somewhat more difficult to come by. Good luck.

Nicky said...

Looks like a "Get Out of Jail Free", or "Pass Go, Collect $200" candle would fit right in with that.
That is one of the weirdest things I've ever seen! (but hilarious)

David Kirk said...

Thanks for your comment. I need to buy an "Anti-Computer Virus" candle.

Monalea said...


I know of several programs to download from (thanks to Trey) that will help to protect your computer.


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