Friday, December 26, 2008

10 Naughty Things to Do for Christmas

1. Stand in front of a supermarket wearing a Santa suit, ringing a bell and wishing everyone a Happy Solstice.

2. Wrap yourself in swaddling clothes and lay in the manger of the neighbor's nativity scene.

3. Put on a Santa suit and open a mall kiosk that sells reindeer jerky and Easter Bunny filets.

4. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children that they've been naughty and won't be getting any presents this year.

5. Buy a package of Keebler's E.L. Fudge Sandwich Cookies and hand them out to children saying this is what happens to the bad elves.

6. Decorate your yard to look like a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer crashed and burned. Walk back and forth along the street muttering, "Oh the humanity."

7. Sell jars of water, advertising them as Frosty the Snowman urns.

8. Post a sign in front yard that says "Carolers Welcome." When they get almost to the front door secretly turn on the sprinklers.

9. Randomly replace one bulb in your neighbor's lights so they no longer work. Repeat this every day until Christmas.

10. Decorate your yard for the holidays using your neighbor's decorations.
(Thanks to Rawhide. Sorry it's late. Happy New Year.)


Brian said...

that was good

Granny J said...

You must think of something more froggish!

David Kirk said...

Brian: Thanks, and happy new year!

Granny: Not all funny things are froggy! Thank you for reading!

Anonymous said...

This cracks me up!


David Kirk said...

Thank you Paula and Happy New Year!

jel said...

happy new year ! ;)

David Kirk said...

Happy New Year jel!

Rob said...

Ok, those were just milk-snorting-out-the-nose funny! Thanks for the great pics!

Anonymous said...

Hi, very interesting post, greetings from Greece!

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