Signs You Might Be a Trekkie

(This was sent to me by a source who wishes to remain anonymous. I thought it was funny.)

Saying "make it so" in casual conversation.

Indignation because the periodic table doesn't include dilithium and tritanium.

Able to use "variable phase inverter" in a sentence without excessive thought first.

Have figured out the stardate system.

An urge to wear lots of Lycra. Scanning shelves at local liquor store for synthehol.

The Star Trek theme becomes background music for your computer, car stereo, dreams, etc.

Major quote sources for thesis are Shakespeare, the Bible, and "The Omega Glory".

Memorization of the crew's authorization codes. Attending a convention wearing non-Terran vestments.

Actual serious thoughts about buying that $300 model of the Enterprise from the Franklin Mint.Understanding Klingon.

Playing fizzbin and understanding it.

"The Outrageous Okona" seems like a fine piece of writing and dramatic stylistics.

Paying rapt attention during those endless special effects sequences in ST:TMP.

You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the green skinned Orion slave girl on episode number 7.
You pull the legs off your hamster so you'll have a tribble. Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a Klingon and torture you for information.

You went to San Francisco to see of you might bump into Kirk and crew while they were in the 20th century looking for a whale.

Your college thesis was a comparison of the careers of T.J. Hooker and Captain Kirk.

You fly into a homicidal rage anytime people say, "Star Trek? Isn't that the one with Luke Skywalker?" You join NASA, hijack a shuttle, and head for the coordinates you calculated for the planet Vulcan.

The UPS guy hands you his electronic clipboard and you're tempted to call him the "Captain's Yeoman" as you sign it. Phrases like 'sentient being' start creeping into your speech patterns.

When you find yourself singing "Headin' Back to Eden" in the shower and you know all the words.

You start practicing raising one eyebrow in front of a mirror.

Someone tells a joke and your only comment is: "Humor, a difficult concept"

You flip open your cellular phone and expect to hear it "chirp." You ask local pet stores if they stock tribbles . . and if they're neutered.

You find yourself executing the "Picard Maneuver." You get on an elevator full of people and have to catch yourself before you tell it what floor you want.

You walk to the microwave and start to order dinner.

Sitting in traffic you seriously start wondering why you're using this primitive form of transportation.

After seeing a news story about a police shooting you wonder, for a moment, why they just didn't set it on stun. You get upset when you go to get a vanity plate and find that WARPSPD has already been taken.

You see a car with a Starfleet Academy sticker and it seems perfectly normal.

Your wardrobe consists of a lot of black slacks with interchangeable gold, red and blue tops.

All babies start to remind you of Jean-Luc Picard.

You drive by a used car lot and start looking for Ferengi.

You start watching commercials because so many Trek alumni are doing the voice-overs.

You know you watch too much Trek when someone asks you to quote some Shakespeare and you do it in Klingon.

You recognize more than four references on this list.